The Song in My Head

Lyrics jumbled up!

He looks around the room
Innocently overlooks the truth

And if you ask me if I love him, I'd lie

He stands there then walks away
My God, if I could only say
I'm holding every breathe for you

I don't let nobody see me wishing he was mine

I think he can see through everything but my heart

First thought when I wake up is, "My god, he's beautiful"
So I put on my make up and pray for a miracle

And if you ask me if I love him, I'd lie!

TESL DINNER!

SO...It's May now huh? I haven't visited my blog page in a long time, really long. I have a good excuse though to be away for so long. For the past three months, I've been running up and down, out and about to get things done. Things meant our Language Camp and Drama "Macbeth". I vaguely remember what I have done in those torture months. I do remember myself walking to the hall almost every night, carrying scripts and props-feeling hesitant and restless. I was living a circular life at the time, constantly repeating the same routines daily I grew tired. Tired meant sick of everything. Even so, I showed up for every practice-putting myself in everyone's shoes helped. I learned that everyone's tired too. Language Camp was brief too, days went by a little too fast. Basically now we are back to boredom and joblessness it is making me go insane. Anyway, all our hard work and efforts were paid off as our drama was a BIG HIT, in other words-we can sleep well now :)

For our success in putting the drama together, our lecturer gave us a treat! We were brought to food heaven. *dreamy sigh* I ate so much I felt like a big fat balloon! The countless desserts on the table made my eyes pop and the smell of delicacies prepared made my tummy sing even louder. I grew greedy upon this sight-my mind and eyes working as a pair to shortlist the food i shall put onto my plate! I couldn't resist the lamb, man that was good. The meat just melted in my mouth, and the taste was just right. I even wished that I could be fed like that every single day. I'll multiply in size in no time, no doubt! To show our gratitude to Mr John, we surprised him with a teddybear (class idea) and a cake-that came from the Hotel Juta guys.

All in all, it was a great night-there'll be another one like this I'm pretty sure in the near future! :) and We absolutely love our chemistry with the camera!

My Favorite People Part 2

Gorgeous boy: Ralphael

My darling sisters

(taken at Jalan Song, was having lunch cum dinner with Mr Alister)

Two bffs of Mine
(this was taken during Prefects' Night)


JT
(taken during last day of High School)

Roxy lovin' them poles

Annual General Meeting

(I was officially a retired member of RC)

Graduation

I forgot when this photo was taken. I don't think Alister even has a memory of this.

XOXO

You deserve this!

You are prolly wondering about....Mel's mood swings?

You are prolly thinking about....Mel's cold treatment to everyone?

You are prolly talking about....WTH is wrong with Mel?

I'll tell you why;

1. I can't work with two-faced people.
2. I despise hypocrites.
3. I just hate those who go all smiley in front of me and speak dirt behind me.
4. I'm not interested.
5. I'm just not interested anymore.

Get my drift?

P/s: No one apologized, so why on earth should I care? and FYI, I have decided to ditch this walk.

XOXO

GIRLFRIENDS

Dear Girlfriends,

In first grade your idea of a good friend was the person who went to the bathroom with you and held your hand as you walked through the scary hall.

In second grade your idea of a good friend was the person who helped you stand up to the class bully.
In third grade your idea of a good friend was the person who shared their lunch with you when you forgot yours on the bus.
In fourth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who was willing to switch square dancing partners in gym so you wouldn't have to be stuck do-si-do-ing with Nasty Nick or Smelly Susan.
In fifth grade your idea of a friend was the person who saved a seat on the back of the bus for you.
In sixth grade your idea of a friend was the person who went up to Nick or Susan, your new crush, and asked them to dance with you, so that if they said no you wouldn't have to be embarrassed.
In seventh grade your idea of a friend was the person who let you copy the Math homework from the night before that you had.
In eighth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who helped you pack up your stuffed animals and old baseball but didn't laugh at you when you finished and broke out into tears.
In ninth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who would go to a party thrown by a senior so you wouldn't wind up being the only freshman there.
In tenth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who changed their schedule so you would have someone to sit with at lunch.
In eleventh grade your idea of a good friend was the person who gave you rides in their new car, convinced your parents that you shouldn't be grounded, consoled you when you broke up with Nick [or Glenn] or Susan, and found you a date to the prom.
In twelfth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who helped you pick out a college /university, assured you that you would get into that college/university, helped you deal with your parents who were having a hard time adjusting to the idea of letting you go...
At graduation your idea of a good friend was the person who was crying on the inside but managed the biggest smile one could give as they congratulated you.
The summer after twelfth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who helped you clean up the bottles from that party, helped you sneak out of the house when you just couldn't deal with your parents, assured you that now that you and Nick or you and Susan were back together, you could make it through anything, helped you pack up for university and just silently hugged you as you looked through blurry eyes at 18 years of memories you ere leaving behind, and finally on those last days of childhood, went out of their way to give you reassurance that you would make it in college as well as you had these past 18 years, and most importantly sent you off to college knowing you were loved.

Now, your idea of a good friend is still the person who gives you the better of the two choices, holds your hand when you're scared, helps you fight off those who try to take advantage of you, thinks of you at times when you are not there, reminds you of what you have forgotten, helps you put the past behind you but understands when you need to hold on to it a little longer, stays with you so that you have confidence, goes out of their way to make time for you, helps you clear up your mistakes, helps you deal with pressure from others, smiles for you when they are sad, helps you become a better person,and most importantly loves you!

I came across this article on the Net and I had tears in my eyes halfway reading it. It just reminds me of why I am the way I am today. Besides my family and teachers, my friends play the honorary role of shaping the Melanie today. I wouldn't have and couldn't have done it without each and everyone of you. Nisha-I love every moment I spend with you; whether we are merely having a quiet breakfast at your place and staring into the jungle down the hill or walking in Mid Valley and talking nonstop. Roxy Davelyn-I miss the noise and full volume speech from you and I'll never forget PushPOP, you were there whenever wherever. Emma-Thanks for opening my eyes, and mind. I still carry the letter you wrote me early last year before I leave for college. It's in my purse. and remember the purple heart you made me for V Day years ago? It's there too. Joanne-You always have the most brilliant thoughtful plans for me. The Birthday surprises especially. Form 4, I had my whole body, face to feet covered in flour. Form 5, you got Baby to distract me about her male dilemma and you bought different slices of cakes from SR, man that was good. And the candles had hearts on them, in white and gold. Those were the best times of my life. Mojo-I miss you dearly. Nisha's partner in crime, not to forget our Miss Farrel, The petrol station talks-HEH BIG BULLY; but I still love you! Alister-best boyfriend, you are just like another gf of mine. You are the best listener in the entire world and you give the best funniest advices in the whole world. And you keep your promises. Your girl's definitely the luckiest person on earth :) straight from the heart (we must watch Nicholas Sparks movies together, anyway you have GG Season 3?) and those I have not mentioned, thanks for keeping me alive.

Whatever it is, you guys are my favourite people-for eternity. I love you, I miss you and you're always in my prayers. Hope to see you soon!

XOXO

One week in Paradise

And so.... I'M BACK! on Miss Emerlyn's request that is.

I had my mid term break last week, which lasted for only a week. It felt like a day though, it was a bit too short and too fast for my liking. and here I am-lying down on my bed facing my laptop texting alister and joanne. I'm feelin' a little homesick and that, I believe explains why I've got a runny nose and I just don't feel so good. My eyes just feel oddly warm and heavy. But i slept for half and hour before afternoon class and for about three hours after class ended. Man. Signs of depression? Beats me! One thing's that I'm hundred percent sure about is-home is where my heart and mind's at. And no, do not force me to bring it back to where I'm at right now. Gosh I can barely breathe. I'm so not feelin' this place atm.

So let's talk about my holidays.

::SATURDAY::

Well, I reached Kuching at about 8 am. My flight from KK was at 6.45am and I couldn't sleep at all. I was tossing and turning on the bed probably for two hours. I stared at the ceiling and I even said my prayers. I can't really explain, I was either feeling super ecstatic or purely nervous. I can't really tell. It was really an uneasy feeling. Because of this, I thought of what to wear; I know-very typical right and what to do during the holidays. Plus, I was listening to songs which either made me smile or made me wanna sing along. I got up at 3AM to shower. Glad that I didn't have to rush, but yeah, 3AM? MAN! I should be in Wonderland at the time. So I went to the airport and blah, nothing interesting. All the shops were closed, duhh. One thing I don't understand till today, why do we have to take out our laptops and phones from our bags? Nuisance. It gets me really messy and blur and fidgety. Especially me, because I tend to have so many things in hand and can you just imagine the inconvenience? HEH. I didn't get the window seat; another turn-off. But on a second thought, it doesn't really matter. Basically because I was flying home! :D The day was cold when I reached Kuching. It's always like that, but yeah Thank God for Rain! Right after leaving airport, I went to my former high school-beloved SMK St. Teresa. Oh Em Gee, I'm falling asleep. Really. (the next morning) Went there to get school dinner tickets and my sister was in the midst of her Prefects' Camp. Met my English teacher :D, my school counsellor and the school PkHEM. My heart was smiling and I was telling myself, JUST ADMIT IT MEL, YOU MISS HIGH SCHOOL. I remember my morning walks around the school compund. I see faces, familiar and unfamiliar. The whole view got me saying, alright these are the new Teresians? You gotta be kidding me. Don't mind me. So anyway, I got a pretty good table for the dinner too! Cheers to that! Leaving the school compound was a bit of an ego-inflating moment for me. Everyone stared as I walked and yeah, I was totally in the spotlight. HAHA. (I can imagine my sister giving me the smirk and she would be like, WTV mel. :D Oh, I miss her already.) After that, I went for breakfast with my parents and Lisa. I had Laksa, that was really good. I had a list of food to eat for the whole week, trust me-you'd do the same if you had two long months of crappy food. At 1.30pm, I was at St. Joe to watch my sister perform for the High School Idol. My rating for the event, well I'm sorry to say but it's almost zero. It was boring, every performer was only given 3 minutes to do their thang which was too short-and any performers that they didn't like, they would just interrupt and tell them to stop. But really, when the performers actually paid Rm25 to perform, do you have the right to cut their performance short? Thing is, okay okay your reason was there are 60 contestants and you only have 3-4 hours to finish the whole thing. Well, that's your problem. You should've thought about the timing earlier, or you could've made it a two-day event. I came and I was bored to death. And I wasted RM9 for boredom. And hence I made my mind, there's no way I'm going for the final. Full stop. In the evening, I went for sunset mass with family and friends then dinner. Then home sweet home. Zzz...

::SUNDAY::

I stayed home the whole day, is that believable? It totally is now! Well Mel, welcome to the adult world. *giving myself a pat on the back* Wait a minute, I did not stay home the whole day! I remember my parents knocking on the bedroom door, telling my sisters and I to wake up. There is one line which my daddy uses to bring us to life in a split second-and I tell you, it works every single time. He would say, "Daddy's going to Spring, you guys wanna come?" FYI, Spring is the biggest mall in Kuching; it's my second home. HAHA. At that moment, everyone would start yawning and groaning-ahem deep inside we were leaping with joy. Spring basically means SHOPPING! So back to my activities for the day, we actually went back to Kampung. The thing is, I was a little worried when mum said she wants to go back to Kampung, because I made a dinner reservation at a restaurant at seven. The dinner was meant to be a surprise, for Mum and Dad's birthdays. Both their birthdays were in February, and I was not home in February. I planned it way before Valentine's Day so I want my plan to run smoothly. My sisters were to take care of the cake part, and I make reservations. Thank God we were at Kampung for about three hours only, and together with my grandparents, we went back to Kuching. Since I was driving my grandpa's car, I stopped at the bakery and collected the cake. We hid the cake in the car the whole time, until we reach the restaurant. Of course I reminded my parents to get all dressed up for the night. The dinner went well, funny at some parts. And after a while, I realised it was the same restaurant where my parents had their wedding reception years ago. They are married for 19 years now. The best part is, the one attending to us was my daddy's old friend. So we were given an extra dish, which was mango fish or something like that and desserts FOR FREE! In the end, my grandpa paid for the dinner, when I'm the one who's supposed to be paying. Well, I owe you one grandpa.

Conclusion: I love my daddy and mummy very much. <

::MONDAY::

I pretty much stayed home the whole day. It actually makes me happy. I watched tv, after months without tv. Oh good days. In the evening, I was out with Lisa and Mum. We went out searching for material to be tailored. I found this really pretty fabric in peach, and yeah, i bought it. :) After that, we headed home and mum made dinner. Home food's the BEST!

::TUESDAY::

Today, both parents took leave to accompany me to the i forgot what it's called office to make my new ic. Anything, everything for Mel huh, I'm definitely one spoiled child. I don't always take the time to say thank you, so Thanks mum and dad for everything. *in tears* Later on, Dad brought us to the Spring although I told him that I'm going there with Emma in the evening. Well, he just said, I feel like it, so it's up to me. I ended up buying a Roxy bag, when in the beginning I was torn between this gorgeous Charles and Keith nag and the Roxy one. Mum prefers the Roxy one, cause it's big and she was the one who's gonna pay for it-so I bought that one. I secretly made a pact to get the Charles and Keith one, hee hee. SOON MEL SOON. At the Roxy store, there were so many bags I just couldn't make up my mind instantly. I started carrying different bags and looked into the mirror, walking back and forth-with all the store assistants looking-oh how embarassing! Asked Dad, my sisters and Mum which one's the nicest. Well I chose the one which majority likes, and that's the bag I've been carrying everywhere I go. (I still want the Charles and Keith! *crossing fingers that I may get it*) Later in the evening, I went out with Emma, Ceilia and Joanne. We went to Boulevard first, I was looking for masks needed for school stuff. Then we went to err, gosh i forgot. My memory's failing me. Sorry. Oh right, we went to Spring because Ceilia was supposed to meet up with her friends. Emma, Joanne and I had dinner and then, joined Ceilia and her friends for a little while. We walked around after that, and I bought some make up stuff at Stage. I spent over Rm100 for just two items! But, there's a BUT, I got a free makeover coupon-which I gave to my mum. Nevermind about that.

::WEDNESDAY::

I stayed home during the day and I went out in the evening with Mum and my sisters. We went to the tailor and bla-bla-bla, let's skip the boring part. Around 9pm, my mum sent Ceilia and I to Emma's place so i could discuss about some bicara berirama thing I had to put together after the holidays. (Seriously what's with all the screamings out there? Annoying!) Around 11, my parents came to bring us home. :)

::THURSDAY::

I was out and about-destination, Spring. You could've guessed that. (ah my tummy hurts!) I hanged out with my classmates, Mister Razky and Mister Geo. It took us about half an hour or prolly an hour to find Razky's place. It felt so long because we didn't know it is. HAHA. Nice place though, it's the whole village atmosphere. It makes me think of my own Kampung. Heh. So we watched Alice In Wonderland, in 3D. Nothing so amazing though, I think I wasted Rm20 on that movie. Johnny Depp who portrayed the role as the Mad Hatter was undeniably, oddly smoking hot by the way. I love him! "I've been thinking about words that start with the letter M..M...M...MORON...!" ROFL. After the movie, we went our separate ways, Geo sent Razky back home and I, on the other hand, had tea cum dinner with my family and friends. One of the waiters there totally reminds me of my uncle. Oh, that's random.

::FRIDAY::

Today, I was out as early as eight to send my sister to drum class. I met up with Roxy at IMH , well I needed her help to fill car petrol. Yeah, that's one fact-I'm clueless when it comes to the filling tank part. I only drive, full stop. Soon after that, I drove home to fetch Lisa and we headed to St. Joseph's Cathedral for my teacher's funeral. She was my Science teacher back in primary school and she's my favourite teacher of all time! She was strict, but funny and kind and nice and all that. :( And most imporatntly, she had faith in me, as well as my friends. I sucked in her subject, real bad. With full dedication and patience, she taught me all I need to know and all efforts were paid off. I got excellent results for UPSR along with my nineteen friends. I have not seen her since she retired when I was in Form 3/Form 4. I wish I had the chance to see her one last time. She's definitely in a better place now, watching over her family friends and students from above. We love you Cikgu Johanna. :) I will never forget, ever. At about 4pm, my friends and I went to the beach. Sea water, sand and sunset- a feel good remedy that works wonders. I felt so much better, I could still see the sunset although it was raining when we got there. We got to see a rainbow too. (Okay I may sound so sakai to you, but it was really beautiful.) We went for dinner as late as 9pm and later on, headed home. (Girls, I'll miss the almost fun part okay. It makes me frustrated whenever I think about it. 11.oopm-11.30pm! ) It was raining heavily at the time, so once got home, I told my daddy to drive both Emma and Joanne home. He was already sleepy but he just couldn't say no. Thanks dad, and sorry. It was very late, almost midnight that is.

::SATURDAY::

I was out with mum and sisters and went home after lunch. After sunset mass, we went for dinner at Hijau and I ate so much-I ordered two different dishes. Dad, was out since morning-he participated in some badminton tournament and he only got home at night. I did nothin much, considering it's my last day home. I ended up sleeping around 2am, Ceilia and I watched two movies straight. A Walk to Remember and Spy Next Door. The kids in Spy Next Door are oh so adorable! I love. :)))

::SUNDAY::

I didn't want to wake up, basically because I didn't want to leave home. I had to wake up extra early as I have not packed my things. Reason? Duh, I didn't want to leave. But yeah, I had to. I was ready by ten and ate breakfast that mum prepared. I only left house around eleven and 12.25pm, i left beloved Kuching. :(

P/s: I'll tell you a secret, I can't wait for the next hols and fly home! If i have all the money in the world, I'd fly home every weekend.

XOXO

Why the narrow-mindedness

Who would actually be pissed about laundry, yeah JUST LAUNDRY and POST IT ON THE WEB TO LET THE WORLD SEE? How shallow. No offence, but it makes you LAME, lamer than ever. I would totally tell myself, MEL, there's no point arguing back because it makes me stand at the your level. But really, I do have to say it cause it seems like you've got issues man. You just downgraded your own ranking on my impression list, from zero to ummm, minus zero? Happy? Haha. Childish much and oh yeah, IT WAS ALL YOUR DOING. A pretty face means nothing. When you ain't got the attitude to go with it.

When you have something to say, use your mouth-politely ask. HELLO. oh right, i forgot that you don't talk. even worse, you don't smile. DANG! how can i forget. Now i get why you have to post it on a public website.

It's a Feel Good Song

According to him I'm funny, irresistible

Everything he ever wanted Everything is oppositeI don't feel like stopping it

So baby tell me what I got to lose He's into me for everything I'm not According to you

*strawberry kisses*

My Current Life Principles

I was sitting at the bakery, with friends and of course their boyfriends-on a hot sunny day. That makes me the only single lady over there. (and Fabulous!) And we had this conversation, concerning my status. GREAT.

Ben: Eh mel, where's your guy?
Mel: Err, got no one.
Yoha: Mel's principles, 5Cs. Career, Cash, Credit Card, Crib and Car!
Mel: *smiles* *thinking how awesome my life could be*

[At night]
I was on the phone with my bff when I suddenly remembered the 5C thingy. And that's when Nisha mentioned, Mel-No. Don't live by those principles, I know people like that and how those can change them.

Okay, that totally changed my perception on them principles. Maybe it works for now. I've got a long way to go. I'll think about that later.

XOXO

Another Not-So-Productive Day

Sunday, beautiful sunday. As expected, I woke up around 11.30 am-the lights and fan were still on so i couldn't tell the difference between day and night. Lame? Whatever. I woke up alone, since my roomie left for church hours ago. Caught me red-handed, as I skipped church? Haha, I went for sunset mass the day before. :) Pretty smart eh? Well, I know that I won't be able to wake up on a Sunday morning, so I made an effort to go on Saturday. Going for mass on Saturdays makes me miss home even more, I usually would be spotted at church on Saturday evenings with family-back in Kuching that is. Why was I sent this far from home? God knows. Things happen for a reason, a saying that never leave my oh-so-crowded mind. In the shower, my head was busy listing chores to do, such as cleaning that messy table of mine, doing a little bit of laundry and sweeping the room. But of course, when my hands and legs refuse to co-operate with my head, all those were left undone. It was noon when my tummy started its own version of opera. Hesitantly, I made up my mind to go to town to satisfy this tummy of mine. I went out alone, that's why. While waiting for a bus to come by, I felt pretty much relieved when I saw a bunch of seniors who intend to go to town as well. It wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be as one of them were nice enough to open up a conversation. It is and will always be that way with Melanie, because she waits for one to start a conversation. And when you do, nothing makes her feel more at home than that. :D just a random fact. As soon as I reached town, I went to the bank-figuring out that my roomie was at the bakery, I planned to go there. But looking at the situation, I decided not to join them lovebirds until my roomie insisted that I stick with them. I couldn't say no. I was lingering around town till about four maybe, I was dead tired. Amazingly, after half an hour lazing in the room-my full-spirited roomie said, SUNDUN let's go play badminton. And again, I couldn't say no. So I went, I had fun in actual fact although I only played for less than an hour. More like twenty minutes, don't ask why. Later on, friends and I joined the rest at the field to mark our handball ground. Of course, we took time to camwhore there-with our huge tees and trackbottoms. SEXY. Right Razky? In between, roomie was brooding about how she wanted bakso so much-I wanted to play badminton again-Classmates were asking for twigs to line the ground-Razky was walking back and forth with his camera!

And here I am, on my bed, together with my jeans bottles of lotion used sheets of tissue trackbottom a Sue Townsend novel Reader's Digest-typing this post out. Looking up, I'll be staring straight at the horribly inorganized table of mine. Gosh such an ugly sight. If my energy allows it, it'll be squeaky clean before bedtime. Maybe I need a maid. Spoilt brat? Ya think? Its just one of those days. Right now, I'm feelin restless and I don't know what to do! I'm thinkin movie, then sleep. Man, I'm clueless. I need the beach, seriously. Someone bring me please!

Quarter life crisis? Maybe.

XOXO

Heart issues

I MISS HOME

:(

In The Spotlight

As you can see, Taylor Swift is my choice of favourite fashionista for the month. Proof shows that not only she has talent in pouring, mixing and blending real good songs, she nailed it at fashion too! Embracing her long and lean figure, she definitely knows how it's done. JUST AWESOME. She knows how to look good and most certainly in making heads turn and mouths gasp even when she's walking down the streets. Whether dressing up for a big night or just a breakfast date with girlfriends, she can be your mentor for your steal-the-attention mission!

XOXO

L.O.V.E

(based on true situation :D)

You knew this guy friend of yours likes you. One fine day, deliberately testing him-asked him to give you the clouds in the sky. And the next day, he sent you a picture of a figure pulling clouds from the sky. What would you do?

In my eyes, that particular guy is very sweet, and since he's a friend, he's definitely someone you can trust. Another thing-such a thoughtful guy he is. He had actually given enough thought on the girl's request, and he could come up with something like that. That's how sincere he is, it shows how much he cares about the girl.

This situation's mind-pleasing and most certainly heart-pleasing, making me go ooh-la-la all the way. If only every gentleman on earth's like that. Oh well.

Dearest roomie, this is for you :) look deep into your heart and figure out what you really want.

THE SCOOP

And FINALLY, The Scoop is published and distributed. It is the very first edition of the TESLian Newsletter and man, all the hard work was worthwhile. The idea came up last year, it was Mr John's I believe and yeah, we set our hearts to work on it. It turned out great, and it was a relief when we receive positive feedbacks from the readers. And of course, along the way, we had problems and misunderstandings and whatsoever. BUT, that's how we learn isn't it? From mistakes and disheartening occurences, which in fact make us stronger and continue in perfecting ourselves for the sake of this little project we have. Our aim is to express, in hopes that by expressing, we'd impress :) The Scoop is basically the one way for us to reach out to others-sharing ideas and opinions, and slowly revealing how we are actually. Never judge a book by its cover, they never seem to be the person you thought they are. Anyway the main reason why this post is up today is to express my utmost gratitude to my fellow team mates for working hand in hand with me to complete this newsletter. You know who you are. I appreciate every little thing you do, the time you took and your full dedication as well as commitment just for this.

CHEERS TO OUR FIRST NEWSLETTER! :D

P/S: Let's all keep up the good work and brainstorm for the next edition-make it a masterpiece :)

and oh, the next edition would be out at the end of March.

FAB FEB!

January bids farewell, February says HELLO! :)

When everyone else are looking forward to fire those fireworks and getting those red angpows since Chinese New Year's just around the corner, somewhere somehow Cupid's getting his bows ready and shortlisting his targets. Wishing upon the star that you'd be one of them? You never know :)

Anyway, I was googling Valentine's Day and guess what i found,

The movie brings all the HOTTEST AND GREATEST actors and actresses together. This movie's definitely a MUST-WATCH :D I can't wait. Taylor Lautner *gives a dreamy smile*, Ashton Kutcher *fanning myself* Patrick Dempsey *grinning* Anne Hathaway-loved her in Bride Wars Jennifer Garner-HOT MAMA! Jessica Alba-All time fav :)) Emma Roberts-sweet Taylor Swift-love song genius

I would normally celebrate this special day with my girlfriends, sadly this year it won't be like that. :( Considering we're scattered across the universe, we're on our own in making this day a day to remember. Stay open, it's a day to celebrate love. love for ourselves, love for our family, our friends, partners etc.

Nisha :) wish i could join you at the ROOFTOP PARTYY.

Whatever it is, I LOVE YOU FAVOURITE PEOPLE. You know who you are. Cause if you expect me to write every name down, it'll never end. :)

XOXO

Favourite People

mama, baby and me!

Joanne Thomas :DD

Gorgeous boy.

me bff :))

Shah Alam gang: Ethel, Diana, Carrie & Erica

Mojijo :)

Emmamama

Baby and Mom

Dad and his I ROCK baju.

Ceilia and Baby

& not to forget, ROXY AND GLORIA :))

Being this far taught me how to love, how to miss, how to need, how to cry and how to pray.

I only knew how much I love you guys after leaving home,

I only knew how much I miss you guys when I feel all alone here,

I only knew how much I need you guys when none of you are here with me,

I only knew how to cry and how to pray because of this.

It's a blessing in disguise, although distance is such a pain in the ass.

XOXO

To lead or not to lead?

Managing big events were the things i look forward to in my high school days. I just LOVE being busy-planning and getting the pieces together. The memories that come with it, the footprints left in our hearts, the good times we can't possibly forget, the ups and downs faced together.

Being the big boss is an honour, being a part of the team despite of the role played is an opportunity. The pathway for us to shine and outstand everyone else, no matter what role you're given trust to pull off-whether major or minor. Everyone would have their time being the head, but sometimes we gotta learn to follow too. Most importantly, we must make the best out of everything we do. Leader or just a mere team member, WHO CARES! When the leader's in the spotlight for good work, the team members are too-do not forget. Success in hand is for everyone to share-everyone who has given their full dedication and love for the team and tasks given.

No, it's not all about carrying the title LEADER-one must perform. The leader is the colourful lollipops that make children happy; the nagging of a mother to make her kids help with house chores, the sad scenes in a movie that make the audience cry non-stop. In short, a leader should know the arts of influencing people. Self-confidence is a must-have element, being able to voice ideas and innovations of his/her and yet, still take suggestions as well as opinions from others into consideration-that makes a great leader. And every team member would be happy too! There's no point being pompous and not liked by your own people, right?

Life's about choices and chances, how you are given choices and chances and how you offer others choices and chances. Every choice, every chance that comes my way, I take them as blessings. That's how it is for everyone else too. When I feel that I've done my time, I'd give choices and chances to another. Instead of being inferior of not being the head no more, I feel grateful for the opportunity given to me and that opportunity I chose to give to someone else-would be the source of happiness and a sense of honour and definitely a learning experience to that particular person. I discovered many things and polished truckloads of skills being a leader-so giving the post to another is just me intending to share what I have learnt and done, letting them to be as competent and have a taste of reality (It's not easy, it never is.) And this makes me feel good :) We should take one step forward together, not leave one or two behind. And isn't that the purpose of being an educator?

I will never get upset even if I was given the smallest part in an organization, it is more of what I have to offer and make the team a successful one. Teamwork is everything, I've learnt that the hard way. However as a leader, you must know how to twist things around. Turn the bad into positive. Pull the away back into the group. That's your responsibility!

Truly from my heart, anything will do for me. The world does not revolve around me, there are others to be taken care of too-those who had been waiting for opportunities just as those who had been waiting for the rain during drought season. If we do not compromise and let others have chances, we might as well not be a leader because we do not have the compassion for our own kind.

Team principle: You jump, I jump! (LOL but true!)

XOXO

Screw you

Dealing with workers at public service centres is tough and nerve-racking, not sometimes but ALL the time. It is supposed to be easy, when they are expected to offer excellent services and help people. Funny thing is, these workers are the most annoying ones compared to others I've seen. Wow, I'm actually comparing them with cashiers in supermarkets or general workers in a warehouse. So you know how horrible you guys are. Let me tell you something, you may be earning more money than just normal people but no, you are never as nice as they are and no, I DO NOT LIKE YOU. Need me to tell you why? Alright, sit back and do put on your seatbelt-oh maybe more like clearing your office. Cause this might be such a huge blow on your face you'd want to quit and stay home.

I was at the bank with my mom one fine day and yes it was a good day indeed. I was to open my incentive cheque and there are so many forms to fill and crap. Whatever, such nuisance. The atmosphere was tense for my mom, filling every detail not only for me but also my sister. And it got worse when a worker came with NO smile on her face; she was putting another stack of forms and basically was banging the table while straightening them papers out. MY MOM WAS FILLING THE FORMS THERE. I mean, what is her problem really? PMS? It doesn't mean that you have to spoil everyone's mood when you are having one of those days. And a smile won't hurt. Well, you might think this is stupid-well you are STUPID. Your service was supposed to be customer friendly. FYI. Even more upsetting, was the one at the counter. She was not friendly at all and it seemed like she was more busy talking to her colleagues rather than attending to us. Who would babble about cookies when there's a customer standing there in front of you? Okay, you might say you need a break but THAT'S YOUR FREAKING JOB. We are tired too, tired of waiting and definitely fed up with your super SLOW service! Tap that? And at the counter, I read this sticker which says Hi My name is blablabla and there, listed their working policies. First on the list was to introduce themselves and greet customers. HOW IRONIC. Not only that, the way you were talking to the aged man before us is A BIG NO-NO. Don't you have any respect for those older than you? You were really challenging my pateince right there. You may be stressed out because of your job, but that's not our business really. Don't stay if you hate your job and plan to let it out on us customers. You'll just make us hate you more.

It seems like almost every public service centres I have been to has issues. My cousin and I were going around Kuching looking for post office to send an important letter and it took us more than one post office to get things done. No I'm not blaming all the post offices but yeah it was the last one that we went to. My cousin was in good mood and it was nice that he'd do all the driving and accompany me that day. We arrived at the post office and it was hot and everything. When I got inside, I felt hotter than ever. No not literally, more like MAD! My cousin was talking to the person behind the counter to give her the item to be posted. She, coldly said, There in that box there, why so lembab? I WAS LIKE WHAT THE HELL. WHO do you think you are, HIS MOTHER? Excuse me, your job was to assist us-not mock us. We do not deal with these businesses every day so there are things we do not know; the procedures and all. You don't have to such be a bitch. My cousin's face expression changed drastically but he said nothing. By the way woman, you are the one who's lembab okay.

Yes I know, I'm not supposed to mock back or anything, but these things just get me on my nerves. You may think that I'm shallow, but do mirror yourself first before giving anymore excuses. I'm pretty sure I'm not the only soul who feels this way. You guys just make me sick. However, greatest sympathy I bid to you. Your life's so bad that you have to turn other's life upside down too. And this is me being angry. DO NOT MESS WITH ME. Right now, I might be only writing this-considering my age. Give me a few more years and I'll be screaming at you back or whack you on the head. Really. Or of course, being mature-I could just issue a complaint and then you can say bye-bye to your victorious era.

XOXO

SKINNY VS FLESHY

Look, read and understand me title. These two words bring two different meanings. And no, I'm not going to compare those two. However, let me just reveal to you how girls define skinny and fleshy.

For them SKINNY people, you would always hear these comments:

Oh gosh she's so pretty

Damn she hot!

I hate her i want her body

FLESHY:

*laughing* Look at her bulging tummy

That excess fat on her, it's hideous

SHE'S FAT and UGLY

I'm from the female clan too, but I'm not too proud of these thoughts. I'll do some justice to both sides. Yeah, of course everyone loves to see the ones with great lookin' bodyhhh, but does that really matter? It really is a girl's thing; even I would have these comments carved in my head when I do my usual people watching. It's nature okay. But I must say, it's not nice.

I was watching the first part of the Victoria's Secret Fashion show and Adriana Lima was walking down the runway with her rockin' body, sexy and perfectly toned top to bottom. Dang, how I wished i own that body! To make things worse, I was eating two pieces of fried chicken at the time-I FELT FATTER than ever. Not to mention how envious I was looking at Keira Knightley in Pride and Prejudice, she's tall and lean and super GORGEOUS! Okay, you must be thinking, how shallow.....i'm totally being frank, i criticize myself for these irrational thoughts.

You think it's easy being skinny? Not when you have family members coming to you endlessly poking and pinching your arm asking, WHY ARE YOU SO SKINNY? The pain i have to go through being pinched. Heh. At least it won't hurt as much if I've got abit more flesh. They would start giving nicknames too, and no, I don't like it. It is funny though. Cicak kubin, si kurus, or sayuh. Sayuh refers to thin in Bidayuh. My mum would tell me to take Vitamin C, Cod Liver Oil(ultimate yuck) and so forth. Well, I HATE PILLS. That's why I refuse to eat medicine or even see doctors. They'll just end up giving me paracetamol. Okay, that has nothing to do with what I'm talking about. Ahem.

Darling sisters MARCEILIA MANCINI & MELISSA SALLY and every girl out there please take note of this:

I'd like to think that personality brings more beauty to a person compared to physical attributes. And that definitely lasts longer, all your life I believe. I look up to those who can carry themselves well, wherever whenever. For instance, well the closest one I can think of would be my younger sisters. Like Ceilia, she's always complaining that she's fat and all those crap-and i would be telling her constantly, CEILIA YOU ARE NOT FAT. She's neither skinny nor she is fat. She's JUST ABOUT THE RIGHT SIZE. perfect. There's one thing she always forgets-how her positive vibe and the fun in her makes her more attractive than ever. The loveliest young lady ever seen when she starts singing and dancing to her favourite songs or when she fidgets and goes blushing after doing something silly. Lisa-she's chubby and she's been in that size since she's little. Despite of her size, she's still the cutest and most adorable person to me. She never really took notice of what people thought of her, as long as she's happy.

THE REMEDY TO THIS ILLNESS:

1. Be CONFIDENT

Walk that walk, talk that talk! Be bold, and forget about what people think about you. What you think of yourself is what that matters, because only you know yourself best. Look up and walk straight when you are in the streets, be in control and do not appear arrogant-let that strong aura you are releasing make heads turn and lips whisper.

2. ACCEPT YOUR OWN FLAWS

No one's perfect, you know. Strengths and weaknesses. Accepting how you are makes you strong, unbeatable and it is a sign of respect to yourself. It is how you embrace your strengths and how you manage your weaknesses. Nothing can make people respect you more when you pick yourself up and start walking again after you fall. If you do not love yourself as you are, how do you suppose someone else to?

3. THINK POSITIVE

There's more to life than thinking about being skinny and fear of being fatt! So get over it.

Look at Megan Fox, she's got flesh and yeah, them boys ADORE her. America Ferrera-she's beautiful! Tyra Banks, she's a top model!

So girls, WAKE UP! :) Plus, we girls can do better than that, now who's with me?

P/s: Ladies, you are just beautiful being the way you are. Forget those jerks and blind people!

Familia <3

The good times!

Adorable, aren't they?


Right in front of Pavi Kl, picture perfect!

It's a cold Friday morning-this kinda weather would always bring me to the emotional side. At this very moment, I'm thinking HOME and FAMILY.Pretty deep huh?

Never i miss a day without talking on the phone with mum and dad. Dad would usually call me at noon, while he sits leisurely under a tree, at the square bench outside church waiting for my sisters to be out of school. There are times when he calls me at night-in which I always assume that he's in the car on his way back home from his night badminton routine. Even so, I would ask him where he is and he would reply, "As usual..." I would smile to myself, as I could just imagine mummy nagging to my little sisters about daddy playing too much badminton and how he'll just sit in front of the tv putting ice on his knees after playing. Mum, on the other hand, would call me late at night I believe to make sure that I woould have a good night sleep. An alternative to tuck me into the bed. She would always say, don't forget to say your prayers-good night ahh in the softest and gentlest tone; somehow hinting how much she misses me. Thinking about this makes me have tears in my eyes. Until now.

My sisters, Ceilia and Lisa-they're my personal entertainers. Ceilia's abit of the wild one and very bold. it's a middle child thing I'd like to believe. Not a bad thing though, the best person to have a heart-to-heart conversation with. She would be the one looking at my college ID card picture and goes off saying, Mel you seriously look like a teacher in that but when they see you in reality, you're so not teacher material. This particular line is sure to come out from Lisa's mouth, Mel, you future teacher-do learn to dress decently-just because i'm the shorts-tank top kinda person (well daddy does shorts too, so it runs in the family). Lisa is the cute and chubby one-definitely stubborn, but aren't all the youngest ones in the family hard-headed? I used to think of them as monkeys, they were so naughty and you can say I'm pretty full of myself-thinking I was the only poised one among us three. Haha. Frankly, when we were still living and breathing under the roof, not that we're not now but since i'm always 'out-station', well, we argued A LOT. We'd argue about who's gonna take the last piece of fried chicken wing on the table, we'd make a fuss about one getting a new top and the other two not-yeah all the silly things. Looking back now, I admit that we were pretty foolish and the things that made me go mad before, are making me laugh now. We are all grown up now, Ceilia will be sitting for SPM this year and Lisa's in form 4. Younger sisters are annoying at times, but I can never imagine life without them. :)

Maybe I should stop here. To stop the possibility of me crying non-stop.

Love you XOXO

Healing Methods..apparently

So girls, you know how people think that we worry over trifles. Well i'm not going to deny it-if i do, i'd be in denial. Duh. We have the tendency of letting our emotions take control of ourselves. I know, cause i'm a girl too. We'd start thinking irrationally, we'd refuse to eat, we'd refuse to shop (in my case, yes!), we'd do all sorts of things, OR we'd do nothing. At all. Getting hurt or stressed over things, is definitely not new to me. I grew up with it, if you know what i mean. Over the years, i tried methods (aha! this sounds like a science experiment or something), well alot of them to de-stress. Let me list them down for you.

11. Shop till you drop! (Need i say more? but in my case, I'll get stressed after shopping, cause i'd be broke in the end. Haha)

10. Shout or rather scream your heart out, when you're commanding your marching platoon. (You're lucky if you're the commander-but you risk losing your voice the next day.)

9. Grab a blanket with you, and watch a sad movie. All alone. (I can't assure you this works but i tend to do this-although it makes me think ALOT after the movie.)

8. Pick up a novel which you longed to read, and yeah, start reading! (It definitely is a bummer when the name of the person whom you're not in good terms with appear in the storyline-or even better, the leading character)

7. Listen to songs that make you wanna shake, shake the problems off of you. (I did this, and i'll end up laughing so hard that i'd cry-because it still hurts inside. )

6. Eat, eat, eat! Pretend that you're eating up all the frustrations in you when you're eating that bowl of cheese macaroni or chewing on those nuts in your bar of dark chocolate. (This helps but if you're the beauty conscious type-FORGET IT!)

5. Drive yourself to dream land. Yes, SLEEP! (You might cry before you sleep and in your sleep, and the moment you wake up. Thing is, you might even have nightmares. I warn you)

4. Keep yourself busy with work work and work. Be a workaholic if you must. (Distractions are good-it works for me, damn well i must say; it makes me forget.)

3. Hang out with your best friend, the whole day if you must. You could talk as much as you want, and she'll listen. (I miss my bff, sobs)

2. Go to the beach, walk along the shore, stare into the ocean and just listen to the sound of waves, watch the sunset or sunrise! (Well the beach is one hour drive from town in Kuching-but I'd do anything to let all my worries go)

1. This is nothing really, but girls if you really want to make things go away, CRY! It will make you feel better, 100% guaranteed. (Since I'm not the kind who'd actually cry in public unless i can't stand it no more, I'd cry in the shower. That works. )

Just another day

Here I am sitting on this hard almost uncomfortable chair with both my legs up, sipping my first cup of hot coffee for the day-together with some oat crackers, at the same time staring at my phone every now and then; you know just in case a call or a text message comes in. It has been a very silent day for me, or rather an amazingly silent week for me. Plus it's a Saturday. Isn't Saturday the day everyone looks forward to? Dang, the world has gone upside down. Alone in the room, listening to Jay-Z's incredible Empire State of Mind-doesn't make things any better. The loneliness vibe is still there, I can't deny. Funny i should pair the word loneliness with vibe over there. Same difference, doesn't make the term loneliness any livelier. If my sisters were here, you'd be listening to their hideous attempt to rap like Jay-Z or their non-stop laughter when they start dancing and suddenly realise that everyone else is watching. That would have made my day.

Truthfully, I have wasted one whole day in this particular room. I woke up at eleven thirty am, well mum gave me a wake up call. or maybe it was dad. Then I showered and did laundry-all the boring stuff. On a SATURDAY, for goodness' sake! After lunch, I sat quietly for a moment and thought, What shall I do today? Go out? Well it's too hot out there, and I went to town yesterday-you don't have anything to do there, REALLY. Facebook? Done. Yawn. Skype? No one's online to start with, except my next door neighbours. So, I finally decided to finish the movie I watched halfway, I love you Beth Cooper. I skipped a few scenes, okay I admit-I watched it already. Just a typical teenage movie, good enough to kill an hour or two. When I was done with the whole oh-i'm-a-nerd-and-i'm-in-love-with-a-cheerleader-and-how-i-wish-i-could-get-her-attention kinda mood, I took a drastic move to fill the next two hours to appreciate a classic love story. Pride and Prejudice, rings a bell? This movie just brings me to another dimension, let me float into the clouds. It's all the oh so charming Mr Darcy's doing.

You won't believe this but after the hours of doing nothing, I picked up my stack of Macbeth papers ad started reading. I'm actually wow-ed by my sudden urge to read. I can't really explain, and to my luck-I finished reading the play! A round of applause to Mel. Ask me if I understood the whole story. Err, I certainly do have a rough idea of what Macbeth's all about. Oh well.

This is the story of a girl with no life. It's not THATT bad but yeah, we do love to exaggerate. Don't we ladies?

I ask for NOTHING but your happiness :)

though it's killing me inside :'(

Random Part II

Venue: Sibu
Dad was lying down on the tiled floor, falling asleep. I was texting Emma (she was still working at Spring)

Emma: Your hot guy quit!

Mel: WHY?????

Emma: No idea...

Mel: *looking at daddy* Daddy, Emma said the hot guy quit!

Daddy: *without a flinch* Oh he's prolly looking for another job that'll pay him 10k!

(told emma what daddy said)

Emma, Me: LMAO!

Random

I was at Spring with family-went to see Emma who was working there at the time.

Me: Emma, the guy who's working together with you is smokin' hot! *big grin on face*

Emma: Oh! Everyone says so....

(Dad came around)

Emma: Uncle! Mel said the guy over there is hot...

Dad: *paused and looked at the guy-top to bottom* *shakes head* Nahhh..mel needs a 10k guy, she spends too much. HIGH MAINTENANCE.

Me: Gosh DADDY....!

Emma: LOL!

2010...?

Well before i knew it, 2010 is here. Officially. Resolutions? i haven't given any thought on that yet. Really. But one thing for sure, I'd like to live life. Finally after a million years. Now it's gonna be about meeting new people, learning-digesting new skills, and if budget allows it, i'll be seeing places. :) The thought of it makes my heart goes all flowery and definitely is hopping with joy! I was babbling to my sister about how i want to get a 4.0 pointer for this semester and the only response i got from her was, try to be a man of value instead of a man of success. that's seriously deep, i mean coming from my soon-to-be seventeen-year-old sister. GREAT.



Let's do a recap on 2009 happenings:



1. I was jobless for three or four months, that was after SPM so don't get me wrong.

2. By end of May, I was actually getting ready for college. I was accepted into UiTM Shah Alam to do TESL.

3. I was a KL resident for a good whole month. If it wasn't for this, I wouldn't have had my chances with buses and other public transports. (WHAT? They did not have buses in Kuching!)

4. Later on, I was accepted into a teacher training college, to do TESL also.

5. Went to KL with friends in November, i had a great time. MOS!

6. Went to Sibu with family, my very first road trip. and seriously, I've never been to any other places in Sarawak except for Kuching.

7. Basically celebrated Christmas outside home, went visiting till late.

8. Oh gorgeous Daniel can walk! :))

9. Spent new year with family, and REAL GOOD FOOD! and a lil bit of drinks and three gunshots-into the air.

2009 had been a chaotic year for me, struggling to keep up with college and peers. had a taste of culture shock i must say. i'm not too proud of the fact that i've been spending too much on the things that i want though. temptation awaits at every clothes store i set my eyes upon, DON'T BLAME ME.

Enough of 2009, it's time to turn the chapter. :)