Favourite People

mama, baby and me!

Joanne Thomas :DD

Gorgeous boy.

me bff :))

Shah Alam gang: Ethel, Diana, Carrie & Erica

Mojijo :)

Emmamama

Baby and Mom

Dad and his I ROCK baju.

Ceilia and Baby

& not to forget, ROXY AND GLORIA :))

Being this far taught me how to love, how to miss, how to need, how to cry and how to pray.

I only knew how much I love you guys after leaving home,

I only knew how much I miss you guys when I feel all alone here,

I only knew how much I need you guys when none of you are here with me,

I only knew how to cry and how to pray because of this.

It's a blessing in disguise, although distance is such a pain in the ass.

XOXO

To lead or not to lead?

Managing big events were the things i look forward to in my high school days. I just LOVE being busy-planning and getting the pieces together. The memories that come with it, the footprints left in our hearts, the good times we can't possibly forget, the ups and downs faced together.

Being the big boss is an honour, being a part of the team despite of the role played is an opportunity. The pathway for us to shine and outstand everyone else, no matter what role you're given trust to pull off-whether major or minor. Everyone would have their time being the head, but sometimes we gotta learn to follow too. Most importantly, we must make the best out of everything we do. Leader or just a mere team member, WHO CARES! When the leader's in the spotlight for good work, the team members are too-do not forget. Success in hand is for everyone to share-everyone who has given their full dedication and love for the team and tasks given.

No, it's not all about carrying the title LEADER-one must perform. The leader is the colourful lollipops that make children happy; the nagging of a mother to make her kids help with house chores, the sad scenes in a movie that make the audience cry non-stop. In short, a leader should know the arts of influencing people. Self-confidence is a must-have element, being able to voice ideas and innovations of his/her and yet, still take suggestions as well as opinions from others into consideration-that makes a great leader. And every team member would be happy too! There's no point being pompous and not liked by your own people, right?

Life's about choices and chances, how you are given choices and chances and how you offer others choices and chances. Every choice, every chance that comes my way, I take them as blessings. That's how it is for everyone else too. When I feel that I've done my time, I'd give choices and chances to another. Instead of being inferior of not being the head no more, I feel grateful for the opportunity given to me and that opportunity I chose to give to someone else-would be the source of happiness and a sense of honour and definitely a learning experience to that particular person. I discovered many things and polished truckloads of skills being a leader-so giving the post to another is just me intending to share what I have learnt and done, letting them to be as competent and have a taste of reality (It's not easy, it never is.) And this makes me feel good :) We should take one step forward together, not leave one or two behind. And isn't that the purpose of being an educator?

I will never get upset even if I was given the smallest part in an organization, it is more of what I have to offer and make the team a successful one. Teamwork is everything, I've learnt that the hard way. However as a leader, you must know how to twist things around. Turn the bad into positive. Pull the away back into the group. That's your responsibility!

Truly from my heart, anything will do for me. The world does not revolve around me, there are others to be taken care of too-those who had been waiting for opportunities just as those who had been waiting for the rain during drought season. If we do not compromise and let others have chances, we might as well not be a leader because we do not have the compassion for our own kind.

Team principle: You jump, I jump! (LOL but true!)

XOXO

Screw you

Dealing with workers at public service centres is tough and nerve-racking, not sometimes but ALL the time. It is supposed to be easy, when they are expected to offer excellent services and help people. Funny thing is, these workers are the most annoying ones compared to others I've seen. Wow, I'm actually comparing them with cashiers in supermarkets or general workers in a warehouse. So you know how horrible you guys are. Let me tell you something, you may be earning more money than just normal people but no, you are never as nice as they are and no, I DO NOT LIKE YOU. Need me to tell you why? Alright, sit back and do put on your seatbelt-oh maybe more like clearing your office. Cause this might be such a huge blow on your face you'd want to quit and stay home.

I was at the bank with my mom one fine day and yes it was a good day indeed. I was to open my incentive cheque and there are so many forms to fill and crap. Whatever, such nuisance. The atmosphere was tense for my mom, filling every detail not only for me but also my sister. And it got worse when a worker came with NO smile on her face; she was putting another stack of forms and basically was banging the table while straightening them papers out. MY MOM WAS FILLING THE FORMS THERE. I mean, what is her problem really? PMS? It doesn't mean that you have to spoil everyone's mood when you are having one of those days. And a smile won't hurt. Well, you might think this is stupid-well you are STUPID. Your service was supposed to be customer friendly. FYI. Even more upsetting, was the one at the counter. She was not friendly at all and it seemed like she was more busy talking to her colleagues rather than attending to us. Who would babble about cookies when there's a customer standing there in front of you? Okay, you might say you need a break but THAT'S YOUR FREAKING JOB. We are tired too, tired of waiting and definitely fed up with your super SLOW service! Tap that? And at the counter, I read this sticker which says Hi My name is blablabla and there, listed their working policies. First on the list was to introduce themselves and greet customers. HOW IRONIC. Not only that, the way you were talking to the aged man before us is A BIG NO-NO. Don't you have any respect for those older than you? You were really challenging my pateince right there. You may be stressed out because of your job, but that's not our business really. Don't stay if you hate your job and plan to let it out on us customers. You'll just make us hate you more.

It seems like almost every public service centres I have been to has issues. My cousin and I were going around Kuching looking for post office to send an important letter and it took us more than one post office to get things done. No I'm not blaming all the post offices but yeah it was the last one that we went to. My cousin was in good mood and it was nice that he'd do all the driving and accompany me that day. We arrived at the post office and it was hot and everything. When I got inside, I felt hotter than ever. No not literally, more like MAD! My cousin was talking to the person behind the counter to give her the item to be posted. She, coldly said, There in that box there, why so lembab? I WAS LIKE WHAT THE HELL. WHO do you think you are, HIS MOTHER? Excuse me, your job was to assist us-not mock us. We do not deal with these businesses every day so there are things we do not know; the procedures and all. You don't have to such be a bitch. My cousin's face expression changed drastically but he said nothing. By the way woman, you are the one who's lembab okay.

Yes I know, I'm not supposed to mock back or anything, but these things just get me on my nerves. You may think that I'm shallow, but do mirror yourself first before giving anymore excuses. I'm pretty sure I'm not the only soul who feels this way. You guys just make me sick. However, greatest sympathy I bid to you. Your life's so bad that you have to turn other's life upside down too. And this is me being angry. DO NOT MESS WITH ME. Right now, I might be only writing this-considering my age. Give me a few more years and I'll be screaming at you back or whack you on the head. Really. Or of course, being mature-I could just issue a complaint and then you can say bye-bye to your victorious era.

XOXO

SKINNY VS FLESHY

Look, read and understand me title. These two words bring two different meanings. And no, I'm not going to compare those two. However, let me just reveal to you how girls define skinny and fleshy.

For them SKINNY people, you would always hear these comments:

Oh gosh she's so pretty

Damn she hot!

I hate her i want her body

FLESHY:

*laughing* Look at her bulging tummy

That excess fat on her, it's hideous

SHE'S FAT and UGLY

I'm from the female clan too, but I'm not too proud of these thoughts. I'll do some justice to both sides. Yeah, of course everyone loves to see the ones with great lookin' bodyhhh, but does that really matter? It really is a girl's thing; even I would have these comments carved in my head when I do my usual people watching. It's nature okay. But I must say, it's not nice.

I was watching the first part of the Victoria's Secret Fashion show and Adriana Lima was walking down the runway with her rockin' body, sexy and perfectly toned top to bottom. Dang, how I wished i own that body! To make things worse, I was eating two pieces of fried chicken at the time-I FELT FATTER than ever. Not to mention how envious I was looking at Keira Knightley in Pride and Prejudice, she's tall and lean and super GORGEOUS! Okay, you must be thinking, how shallow.....i'm totally being frank, i criticize myself for these irrational thoughts.

You think it's easy being skinny? Not when you have family members coming to you endlessly poking and pinching your arm asking, WHY ARE YOU SO SKINNY? The pain i have to go through being pinched. Heh. At least it won't hurt as much if I've got abit more flesh. They would start giving nicknames too, and no, I don't like it. It is funny though. Cicak kubin, si kurus, or sayuh. Sayuh refers to thin in Bidayuh. My mum would tell me to take Vitamin C, Cod Liver Oil(ultimate yuck) and so forth. Well, I HATE PILLS. That's why I refuse to eat medicine or even see doctors. They'll just end up giving me paracetamol. Okay, that has nothing to do with what I'm talking about. Ahem.

Darling sisters MARCEILIA MANCINI & MELISSA SALLY and every girl out there please take note of this:

I'd like to think that personality brings more beauty to a person compared to physical attributes. And that definitely lasts longer, all your life I believe. I look up to those who can carry themselves well, wherever whenever. For instance, well the closest one I can think of would be my younger sisters. Like Ceilia, she's always complaining that she's fat and all those crap-and i would be telling her constantly, CEILIA YOU ARE NOT FAT. She's neither skinny nor she is fat. She's JUST ABOUT THE RIGHT SIZE. perfect. There's one thing she always forgets-how her positive vibe and the fun in her makes her more attractive than ever. The loveliest young lady ever seen when she starts singing and dancing to her favourite songs or when she fidgets and goes blushing after doing something silly. Lisa-she's chubby and she's been in that size since she's little. Despite of her size, she's still the cutest and most adorable person to me. She never really took notice of what people thought of her, as long as she's happy.

THE REMEDY TO THIS ILLNESS:

1. Be CONFIDENT

Walk that walk, talk that talk! Be bold, and forget about what people think about you. What you think of yourself is what that matters, because only you know yourself best. Look up and walk straight when you are in the streets, be in control and do not appear arrogant-let that strong aura you are releasing make heads turn and lips whisper.

2. ACCEPT YOUR OWN FLAWS

No one's perfect, you know. Strengths and weaknesses. Accepting how you are makes you strong, unbeatable and it is a sign of respect to yourself. It is how you embrace your strengths and how you manage your weaknesses. Nothing can make people respect you more when you pick yourself up and start walking again after you fall. If you do not love yourself as you are, how do you suppose someone else to?

3. THINK POSITIVE

There's more to life than thinking about being skinny and fear of being fatt! So get over it.

Look at Megan Fox, she's got flesh and yeah, them boys ADORE her. America Ferrera-she's beautiful! Tyra Banks, she's a top model!

So girls, WAKE UP! :) Plus, we girls can do better than that, now who's with me?

P/s: Ladies, you are just beautiful being the way you are. Forget those jerks and blind people!

Familia <3

The good times!

Adorable, aren't they?


Right in front of Pavi Kl, picture perfect!

It's a cold Friday morning-this kinda weather would always bring me to the emotional side. At this very moment, I'm thinking HOME and FAMILY.Pretty deep huh?

Never i miss a day without talking on the phone with mum and dad. Dad would usually call me at noon, while he sits leisurely under a tree, at the square bench outside church waiting for my sisters to be out of school. There are times when he calls me at night-in which I always assume that he's in the car on his way back home from his night badminton routine. Even so, I would ask him where he is and he would reply, "As usual..." I would smile to myself, as I could just imagine mummy nagging to my little sisters about daddy playing too much badminton and how he'll just sit in front of the tv putting ice on his knees after playing. Mum, on the other hand, would call me late at night I believe to make sure that I woould have a good night sleep. An alternative to tuck me into the bed. She would always say, don't forget to say your prayers-good night ahh in the softest and gentlest tone; somehow hinting how much she misses me. Thinking about this makes me have tears in my eyes. Until now.

My sisters, Ceilia and Lisa-they're my personal entertainers. Ceilia's abit of the wild one and very bold. it's a middle child thing I'd like to believe. Not a bad thing though, the best person to have a heart-to-heart conversation with. She would be the one looking at my college ID card picture and goes off saying, Mel you seriously look like a teacher in that but when they see you in reality, you're so not teacher material. This particular line is sure to come out from Lisa's mouth, Mel, you future teacher-do learn to dress decently-just because i'm the shorts-tank top kinda person (well daddy does shorts too, so it runs in the family). Lisa is the cute and chubby one-definitely stubborn, but aren't all the youngest ones in the family hard-headed? I used to think of them as monkeys, they were so naughty and you can say I'm pretty full of myself-thinking I was the only poised one among us three. Haha. Frankly, when we were still living and breathing under the roof, not that we're not now but since i'm always 'out-station', well, we argued A LOT. We'd argue about who's gonna take the last piece of fried chicken wing on the table, we'd make a fuss about one getting a new top and the other two not-yeah all the silly things. Looking back now, I admit that we were pretty foolish and the things that made me go mad before, are making me laugh now. We are all grown up now, Ceilia will be sitting for SPM this year and Lisa's in form 4. Younger sisters are annoying at times, but I can never imagine life without them. :)

Maybe I should stop here. To stop the possibility of me crying non-stop.

Love you XOXO

Healing Methods..apparently

So girls, you know how people think that we worry over trifles. Well i'm not going to deny it-if i do, i'd be in denial. Duh. We have the tendency of letting our emotions take control of ourselves. I know, cause i'm a girl too. We'd start thinking irrationally, we'd refuse to eat, we'd refuse to shop (in my case, yes!), we'd do all sorts of things, OR we'd do nothing. At all. Getting hurt or stressed over things, is definitely not new to me. I grew up with it, if you know what i mean. Over the years, i tried methods (aha! this sounds like a science experiment or something), well alot of them to de-stress. Let me list them down for you.

11. Shop till you drop! (Need i say more? but in my case, I'll get stressed after shopping, cause i'd be broke in the end. Haha)

10. Shout or rather scream your heart out, when you're commanding your marching platoon. (You're lucky if you're the commander-but you risk losing your voice the next day.)

9. Grab a blanket with you, and watch a sad movie. All alone. (I can't assure you this works but i tend to do this-although it makes me think ALOT after the movie.)

8. Pick up a novel which you longed to read, and yeah, start reading! (It definitely is a bummer when the name of the person whom you're not in good terms with appear in the storyline-or even better, the leading character)

7. Listen to songs that make you wanna shake, shake the problems off of you. (I did this, and i'll end up laughing so hard that i'd cry-because it still hurts inside. )

6. Eat, eat, eat! Pretend that you're eating up all the frustrations in you when you're eating that bowl of cheese macaroni or chewing on those nuts in your bar of dark chocolate. (This helps but if you're the beauty conscious type-FORGET IT!)

5. Drive yourself to dream land. Yes, SLEEP! (You might cry before you sleep and in your sleep, and the moment you wake up. Thing is, you might even have nightmares. I warn you)

4. Keep yourself busy with work work and work. Be a workaholic if you must. (Distractions are good-it works for me, damn well i must say; it makes me forget.)

3. Hang out with your best friend, the whole day if you must. You could talk as much as you want, and she'll listen. (I miss my bff, sobs)

2. Go to the beach, walk along the shore, stare into the ocean and just listen to the sound of waves, watch the sunset or sunrise! (Well the beach is one hour drive from town in Kuching-but I'd do anything to let all my worries go)

1. This is nothing really, but girls if you really want to make things go away, CRY! It will make you feel better, 100% guaranteed. (Since I'm not the kind who'd actually cry in public unless i can't stand it no more, I'd cry in the shower. That works. )

Just another day

Here I am sitting on this hard almost uncomfortable chair with both my legs up, sipping my first cup of hot coffee for the day-together with some oat crackers, at the same time staring at my phone every now and then; you know just in case a call or a text message comes in. It has been a very silent day for me, or rather an amazingly silent week for me. Plus it's a Saturday. Isn't Saturday the day everyone looks forward to? Dang, the world has gone upside down. Alone in the room, listening to Jay-Z's incredible Empire State of Mind-doesn't make things any better. The loneliness vibe is still there, I can't deny. Funny i should pair the word loneliness with vibe over there. Same difference, doesn't make the term loneliness any livelier. If my sisters were here, you'd be listening to their hideous attempt to rap like Jay-Z or their non-stop laughter when they start dancing and suddenly realise that everyone else is watching. That would have made my day.

Truthfully, I have wasted one whole day in this particular room. I woke up at eleven thirty am, well mum gave me a wake up call. or maybe it was dad. Then I showered and did laundry-all the boring stuff. On a SATURDAY, for goodness' sake! After lunch, I sat quietly for a moment and thought, What shall I do today? Go out? Well it's too hot out there, and I went to town yesterday-you don't have anything to do there, REALLY. Facebook? Done. Yawn. Skype? No one's online to start with, except my next door neighbours. So, I finally decided to finish the movie I watched halfway, I love you Beth Cooper. I skipped a few scenes, okay I admit-I watched it already. Just a typical teenage movie, good enough to kill an hour or two. When I was done with the whole oh-i'm-a-nerd-and-i'm-in-love-with-a-cheerleader-and-how-i-wish-i-could-get-her-attention kinda mood, I took a drastic move to fill the next two hours to appreciate a classic love story. Pride and Prejudice, rings a bell? This movie just brings me to another dimension, let me float into the clouds. It's all the oh so charming Mr Darcy's doing.

You won't believe this but after the hours of doing nothing, I picked up my stack of Macbeth papers ad started reading. I'm actually wow-ed by my sudden urge to read. I can't really explain, and to my luck-I finished reading the play! A round of applause to Mel. Ask me if I understood the whole story. Err, I certainly do have a rough idea of what Macbeth's all about. Oh well.

This is the story of a girl with no life. It's not THATT bad but yeah, we do love to exaggerate. Don't we ladies?

I ask for NOTHING but your happiness :)

though it's killing me inside :'(

Random Part II

Venue: Sibu
Dad was lying down on the tiled floor, falling asleep. I was texting Emma (she was still working at Spring)

Emma: Your hot guy quit!

Mel: WHY?????

Emma: No idea...

Mel: *looking at daddy* Daddy, Emma said the hot guy quit!

Daddy: *without a flinch* Oh he's prolly looking for another job that'll pay him 10k!

(told emma what daddy said)

Emma, Me: LMAO!

Random

I was at Spring with family-went to see Emma who was working there at the time.

Me: Emma, the guy who's working together with you is smokin' hot! *big grin on face*

Emma: Oh! Everyone says so....

(Dad came around)

Emma: Uncle! Mel said the guy over there is hot...

Dad: *paused and looked at the guy-top to bottom* *shakes head* Nahhh..mel needs a 10k guy, she spends too much. HIGH MAINTENANCE.

Me: Gosh DADDY....!

Emma: LOL!

2010...?

Well before i knew it, 2010 is here. Officially. Resolutions? i haven't given any thought on that yet. Really. But one thing for sure, I'd like to live life. Finally after a million years. Now it's gonna be about meeting new people, learning-digesting new skills, and if budget allows it, i'll be seeing places. :) The thought of it makes my heart goes all flowery and definitely is hopping with joy! I was babbling to my sister about how i want to get a 4.0 pointer for this semester and the only response i got from her was, try to be a man of value instead of a man of success. that's seriously deep, i mean coming from my soon-to-be seventeen-year-old sister. GREAT.



Let's do a recap on 2009 happenings:



1. I was jobless for three or four months, that was after SPM so don't get me wrong.

2. By end of May, I was actually getting ready for college. I was accepted into UiTM Shah Alam to do TESL.

3. I was a KL resident for a good whole month. If it wasn't for this, I wouldn't have had my chances with buses and other public transports. (WHAT? They did not have buses in Kuching!)

4. Later on, I was accepted into a teacher training college, to do TESL also.

5. Went to KL with friends in November, i had a great time. MOS!

6. Went to Sibu with family, my very first road trip. and seriously, I've never been to any other places in Sarawak except for Kuching.

7. Basically celebrated Christmas outside home, went visiting till late.

8. Oh gorgeous Daniel can walk! :))

9. Spent new year with family, and REAL GOOD FOOD! and a lil bit of drinks and three gunshots-into the air.

2009 had been a chaotic year for me, struggling to keep up with college and peers. had a taste of culture shock i must say. i'm not too proud of the fact that i've been spending too much on the things that i want though. temptation awaits at every clothes store i set my eyes upon, DON'T BLAME ME.

Enough of 2009, it's time to turn the chapter. :)